“Before I had children I was a nanny for a family in Atlanta. My 4 year old calls antelopes “cantelopes” and flamingos “mangos”. What’s so funny??”. Great list! He now has 2yr old twin sisters, who I’m sure will be butchering new words any day now. Which basically translates to getting rid of any sexual overtones in the songs. Buy almost anything else, instead. My husband loves superheros and when our oldest daughter was around three, she would pronounce Captain America as Captain Amegina. This was hilarious as were the additional comments above. She had just spent the weekend with my parents and my aunt and my aunt slips sometimes. Secretly and silently judge all you want, be as snarky as you need to be inside the private, unreachable confines of your brain — but don’t let it spew out of your mouth like a fountain of feces. It always made me smile and crave salt. I wish I had seen your post from Monday earlier and added some of our son’s favorites. If you have a child who can read, I would bookmark this page and save it for later, after he or she is in bed. But she insisted her freckle was a n—-r for a while. moojie = movie We were at a church function one evening and on the menu was baked beans. Ellen, Mine still calls oatmeal “opium” and we race each other to get our shoes on. Then it became stick-a-lish and now it is finally licorice (most of the time). My daughters was Calipidder for Catapillar. He was 3 at the time. One day he wet his pants. Can’t wait to go to the grocery store…. Whore! And they both love Star Wars, especially “bastard Yoda”, This is entirely true! “The child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself.” http://www.themommypsychologist.com. Whore!” Dead silence from my husband and I. Miss A asked: My first son was VERY into Thomas the Train- his favorites were Dirty Percy ( oil covered Percy) which came out of his mouth as ” dirty pussy”, Fergus ” Fuckit” and Butch ” Bitch” . Love, love, love these posts, I cry from laughing so hard! When we can’t figure it out we say “Show me” and she walks us to whatever she was asking for. We live in Myrtle Beach so going through the Ripley’s Aquarium was always a must, since my youngest daughter is obsessed with Nemo and all things pirate. And my favorite? What’s wrong with me?? Finally his 4 year old brother provided the solution, he was telling us to “punch it” because he wanted us to drive faster. !” in public! When I was a preschool teacher I had a kid ask me during lunch if he could eat his “dookie.” trying to hold back laughs, I tried asking him again what he wanted to eat and he kept saying “dookie.” finally he pulled out his cookie from his lunch box. “Mommy let’s go hide in the f*ck!”. To get them even more excited, I told them we were going to see the boats and fish at the Pro Shops. I wanted to take my boys to Bass Pro Shops last Spring to see the Easter Bunny. My 20 month old says Bull shit for blue shirt. My daughter does that, too! NOTE: This post will be updated if I come across another creature or entity that is not yet included in this list. How Language Develops • Overextension • Dada may mean all men • Underextension • Use a word too narrowly • Boy may mean only boys his age • Telegraphic speech 85. Not my, um, you know. Sometimes, replacing those dirty lyrics doesn't always work that well. so you got awe shit. . My son used to say ‘baby soup’ for bathing suit also. Awesome! I love these. Bubba and Daddy have a penis, and baby Asher has a “jina”. “The Iñupiaq language is an expressive language; it’s a very rich language, and it has single words that—in the way that they work and the things they express—rival or exceed English at a post-doctoral level.” One of those words, he says, is Ikiaqtalaaq, which means, “to … Licorlish and Zebeggi are totally the cutest things I heard (well, read) all day. My 2 year old just started wearing flip flops…. I have a video as well. Unfortunately, in his toddler speak, he would end up shouting across the grocery store for “good sex mommy?”, much to my sister’s chagrin and other shoppers’ amusement / bewilderment. Pile of shit = pirate ship. Pause it – Closet Her hurried whispers, were drowned by the toddlers screams, but they were clear as day in the onlookers head. I was the cutie-pie who brought my Devil- worshiping brother to justice. here are a few classics from our kiddos and neighbourhood kids Toddlers are adorable. Completely laughed out loud at this! My daughter liked to ride in our “mivi-van”. My daughter says dickdickulous for ridiculous. Love it. When I was little I would say that my dad worked in a “hahsiboo” (hospital). So many readers commented both under the post and on my fanpage with stories about the funny words their kids say incorrectly that I had to do something with them. “Oh, you mean HORROR!” “Yeah, that’s what I said! It was so funny that my husband used to use it as a party trick…once my son caught on, it was very hard to correct! ... some of the nursery rhymes that I grew up with are butchered (either incomplete or completely changed). Duke calls clementines “bobotines” for unknown reason. According to my parents, when I was a kid I would say “spagegwee” for spaghetti and “bayooons” for balloons. I don’t really try to correct her cuz its so damn funny. The kids keep on cussing. If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. Coffee was also fuckie, My daughter calls an elevator “the alligator”. Yes, we too get ‘cock’ shouted very loudly every time a clock is seen by my little boy! We have a pool, and they call the chemicals, “kekminals” Poffee (coffee) I have a couple blush-inducing mispronounciations to add courtesy my little girl: Kids. Even the most even-keeled toddlers have their moments, which is why these expressions became popular in the first place. My sister has always tried to get my nephew to have “good snacks” rather than treats. My son used to call cactus “poked us” and we loved it so much, it stuck around and is still being used 2 years later. How shocked was I to hear her outside one day, yelling “Mommy, I want cock… I want cock, Mommy!” Oh dear… I went outside asking “WHAT did you just say?? LOL!! 23 Hilariously Mispronounced Words By Toddlers "Oh, 'duck'! HAHAHAHAHA!!! My “Totally Butchered Words” posts are some of my post popular. Snickers – N word (so we made sure on the rare occasion he got one, we called them candy bars.) One mom said her daughter says “awe shit” instead of “sausage”. My 2 year old says “count” but leaves out the O… took us a few times to realize what she was actually saying. I refuse to correct him, its too cute! Michael Colombini 2001 Shit down (sit down) My newphews used to say Crapped in instead of Captian. Bernd Brandes, a German engineer from Berlin, was willingly slaughtered so that he could be butchered and eaten by cannibal Armin Meiwes. My son says crut instead of truck ..quwimming instead of swimming its so cute . Yahoo Parenting polled child development experts for the go-to words that moms and dads can offer their kids with confidence to encourage and empower them at … My son calls coffee cockie. Our daycare was across from a fire station that conveniently did its daily check of all the trucks right as we arrived each morning. It isn’t a hard concept, people. I love love love it! PS This had me laughing so hard that Demon Toddler patted me on the back and asked me why I was crying! And I wish I could upload video of my daughter saying “big truck”… although anybody else would have heard “biiiiggg cock”. Other flowery box. My mom let this continue for entirely too long. If you say both out loud, you can hear the similarity. We’re currently enjoying “cack” for “cake”. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? But be forewarned— they are not for the pearl clutchers amongst us! At a family party she loudly asked ‘Mommy can I play with cock? Everyone was silent for a moment, until I turned to the boy and said “That’s right, Frank, FLAGS!” Then they all started laughing and screaming “FLAGS FLAGS!” Thank god for everyone’s sense of humor!”. Almonds as "SALMONS" is one of my favorites. All the butchered words depicted below are actual mispronunciations that were submitted by moms of actual toddlers. She ran around target yesterday saying “bull shit” every minute or so. My two year old calls puddles “cuddles”, often asking to jump in the cuddles. Not too long after that someone cut my mom off in traffic and the same nephew chimed in with “Play chicken, Granna.” We were pretty sure he didn’t understand the concept of playing chicken while driving so we turned again to his brother who explained what he meant was “Pay attention, Granna.”, I should have sent one in! Sing along if you know the words. Black fuck on dick”.. After a phone call to grandma, I found out they had seen a black FOX on her DECK while he was over. He also refers to phones as phlones. I couldn’t understand why her favorite animal at the zoo was the fingernails or why Grandma loooooved fingernails so much! They were 18 months and really trying to use and combine new words. and dat cack!” Guess it wouldn’t be so much of a problem if cake wasn’t the favorite of his food groups. , My 2 year old loves to play with Chalk, but has some trouble with the ‘CH’ sound. Oh so awesome. I love the douche one the best. Calls them “foo fucks”, My two year old son just discovered clocks. Sleeping Booty, Snow Wipe, and my personal favorite, “cock” when pointing to a clock tower! I love these SO much. (stick) Sausage said by a toddler is translated into Awe Sh!t! DYING over here. Fuffins = muffins (we still call them fuffins) And it is so much fun to hear little kids try to mimic all the sounds. She can’t do double conesenents. Now at 2.5, chocolate is “cockit” and anything vaguely star-shaped is a “tinkle sar” (twinkle star). Goggles are GLOBULS. My 20 month old calls cucumbers “keebumpers” and blueberries “Blue Babies.” He also went through a phase where he left the ‘l’ out of “clock” so it sounded like he was saying “cock!” I don’t miss that one! Almonds as “SALMONS” is one of my favorites. Sausage without the first ‘s’ becomes ahhshit. Tis Bugger – Cheese burger Sometimes this is hard because it’s not always in an easy spot but maybe it would help? My 4 year old loves Golden Delicious apples, but he calls them “Golden Yummies”. I think I’ll actually miss when my guys start saying things correctly. Here’s a warning not to let your child play with Siri on your iPhone! Now I’m the crazy lady who laughs at her phone in Starbucks. Please select whether I bother you once a day or once a week. Great job. She said “A DUMB FUCK!” Now, back in the 70’s that isn’t quite as funny as it is today…more like MORTIFYING as my Mom tells it…(though I suppose it should be for us now as well…) Anyway, suffice it to say, she got a dump truck for her birthday and was delighted with it. Anyone been to Kmart lately? We’ll be in the middle of a store and she’ll see a clock and yell, “Cock, mommy, COCK!” thank you! Both my daughter and son have said: And now, the butchered words are about to get exponentially more “colorful” so I’m giving you the option to opt out. My 4-year-old loves to say that she has an itchy-bitchy when she needs to scratch her leg/arm/etc. This is hysterical. She also called herself “dabadee” instead of Madison when she was 18 mos old so… Yeah. Grrr. So “soap” becomes “pope” and “soup” becomes “poop”. LOL! At about 18 months my daughter and I were scrubbing out our new above could hot tub. Thank you for getting Trace’s in there. Just don’t make fun of anyone. For my daughter it has advance to ‘mingos but for a long time it was fingernails. Yay for Ambulions! Still smirking at douche waffle though. These had me cracking up. © Copyright 2009-2021 Creative Skirt, LLC. Thankfully, they all found the humor in it once I explained that he was trying to say pork n’ beans. Your FB fans comes up with are butchered ( either incomplete or completely changed )!.. Too cute my aunt and my sister was “ shee dicks ” Cheese... Part two: 22 more words Totally butchered by suspected herdsmen in Plateau State... Buhari govt been. Commented Sep 24, 2013 on 22 words Totally butchered by toddlers to pull out the fan my... Women to not be hoe bags, and calls both “ fluddles ” unique way of pronouncing many these! Seen by my little boy and his cousins all say “ hang-gerber ” instead of a sudden my yells... “ SALMONS ” is one of the time with “ chocolate ” humor in it once I explained he! Puddle, and baby Asher has a very quiet office!!!!!!!. 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